Kingdom Hearts 3582 Days: Joke Weapons
by Musashi102
Summary: A one-shot fanfic centering around the Organization 13 and their joke weapons.


KH 258/2 Days: Joke Weapons

It was another day in the World That Never Was. This was where one of the two bases of the Organization 13 operated. All the members of the Organization 13 were there. As usual people were going out on missions and things. But wait a minute.....there was a sign up in the main room. It said "Vacation Day". That meant it was their day off. [i]No one[/i] was on missions. Then upstairs an shout mixed with anger and shock sounded. It came from Axel, whom was donning a pizza delivery outfit.

"WHAT?!" Cried a very furious Axel.

He was speaking to Saix, whom was trying his hardest to keep a straight face on. If one were to look, they would wonder why the blue-haired male wasn't on the floor laughing. The furious Org. 13 member had two pepperoni pizzas in his hands in place of his chakrams.

"You heard what I said Axel." Saix's voice didn't match up to the amused look in his eyes.

"I said I was willing to do your dirty work, but this is ridiculous!"

"Now run along Errand Boy! Start delivering those pizzas!"

Axel grumbled. "Yeah......while you sit there and eat your giant banana."

Saix was holding a large banana that appeared to be the size of Roxas. The man was now peeling it open. He took a small bite and chewed it. Meanwhile Zexion was outside in Twilight Town eating a giant sandwich. He was nomming it as he was attacked by heartless. The heartless mindlessly tried to jump him as he was eating. Then all the sudden with a wave of his free hand lightning bolts struck the heartless, destroying them almost instantly. He glanced up, made a "Hmph" sound, then went back to eating his sandwich.

While Axel was serving flaming pizzas and Zexion was owning heartless with spells while eating a sandwich, some really unfortunate Dusks were subjected to the wrath of Larxene.

"Take that! And that!"

She was slicing Dusks up with her sharp flower petals of doom. Her speed was incredible and so was her accuracy. It wasn't clear if she was pissed or if she was just training though. In a nearby room Luxord was shuffling through his CDs. He overheard Larxene and sighed.

"Wonder who she's targeting....ick, Paris Hilton."

He shortly tossed the CD away. The CD flew past Xaldin as he was sweeping the entire place with his many brooms and wind powers. The CD managed to fly over to Roxas and Xion. Roxas caught it then grimaced as he read the name of the album and artist. He threw it away before turning to smile at Xion. They both had umbrellas because for where they were going, it was raining. The two went through the corridor of darkness holding hands.

A loud "BOINK!" sound was heard from the kitchen. Inside the kitchen was Marluxia with a giant soup ladle and Demyx with a giant tennis racket laying against the wall next to him. Demyx was rubbing his head as Marluxia was wagging his finger at him.

"No soup for you!" Spoke Marluxia.

Demyx's shoulders slumped. "But why?" He whined.

"Because I said so."

"No fair! I'm hungry!"

"Well, maybe if you stopped laying on your butt so much..."

Demyx then snapped his fingers. "I've got it! What if I challenge you to a tennis match for it?"

"Hm...." Marluxia thought for a moment. He rubbed his chin as he was thinking. His hair looked more pinkish vibrant than ever. "Well...alright. One tennis match wouldn't hurt."

Demyx punched the air in victory. "All right!" Nearby Xigbar had just arrived back from another world. He was blow drying his wet hair with his many hairdryers when he overheard the challenge between Demyx and Marluxia. His mouth moved to form a devilish smirk.

"Now this, I gotta see."

Xigbar followed Demyx and Marluxia to the indoor tennis court. Yes, the Organization 13 had an indoor tennis court. Why, no one knew, but it would be used for their tennis match. Demyx was on one side with his giant tennis racket, Marluxia on the other side also holding a tennis racket. Xigbar was on the outside as a spectator, watching the match while blow drying his hair. Marluxia made the first serve of the game. The match kept going on and on, both sides putting effort into winning the match. Sometime later it was nearing the end with Marluxia in the lead. He laughed as the ball went over Demyx's racket and bounced on his side, increasing the cook's score.

"Ha! Your serve Demyx!"

The lazy guy growled. At this rate he was going to lose the match and his precious soup. That was when the idea occur to him. Yes, he would use that technique. His scowl turned into a grin as he positioned his tennis racket as he would a guitar.

"Sure thing, Pinky!"

Demyx threw the ball up in the air. Then he started strumming on the racket strings. What was going on? Marluxia raised an eyebrow. Next thing he knew he was listening to the mind****ing ownage of Jimi Hendrix. Demyx started playing the guitar to Jimi Hendrix's song "Purple Haze". The ball went flying right at Marluxia. It was moving at a rapid speed. He swung his racket, sending it back to Demyx. But for some odd reason the bal went speeding to Marluxia again and kept turning away from Demyx. This "tennis guitar" technique helped Demyx to win the match and earn his bowl of soup, despite Marluxia's complaints on cheating. Xigbar was not in the least affected by the win and simply laughed as he listened to the bickering in the aftermath of the match.

"Well that was sure entertaining. Even more than that kid and Poppet's date."

Within the distance a cry was heard. Axel was throwing fiery pizzas in no particular direction.

"I. AM. GOING. TO. KILL. SAIX!!!!!!!!!"

Vexen kept reading his notes as a Pizza-throwing Axel was, you guessed it, throwing flaming pepperoni pizzas of doom. Vexen shielded himself from the pizzas with his flame-proof pot lid. Saix was close by when he heard "Errand Boy" going crazy. He frowned and turned to the leader of Organization 13. That was Xemnas and he was sitting on his throne cooling himself off with his lovely but deadly fans.

"Want me to stop him, sir?" Asked Saix.

"There's no need to." Replied Xemnas calmly.

The next moment Saix heard a "BANG!" come from the same direction Axel was in. He hurried over to see Lexaeus standing over Axel with a giant plastic toy banhammer in his possession. Axel was sprawled out on the floor unconscious. Xemnas followed with an evil smile on his face. Vexen muttered "Thank you Lexaeus" before leaving the premises to read further information. Xigbar was lurking the area and watched what happened.

"Well that's gotta hurt......"

And so that was the Organization 13's vacation.


End file.
